Last weekend I had a Great British Bake Off catastrophe. This should have been Rachel Khoo's Kings cake. Alas this was all that could be salvaged from the kitchen floor. With spectacular grace the pudding performed a perfect somersault landing with a thump, butter side down, at my parents feet. I doubt such a thing could have been recreated for film. I managed to salvage some of the hazelnut cream, dig out some stewed apple from the freezer and throw together a slightly random crumble. The baking tray has been banished.